This is my recent twitter stream related to AT&T. I thought I would elaborate since you’re only allowed 140 characters per tweet:
Holy shit. AT&T, get your big head out of your tight ass.
[No really, unclench your butt cheeks and just pull.]
There is no other customer service department I dread calling more than AT&T’s… #justshootme
[Well, possibly a call to a government agency.]
*sobs*
[Why am I already sobbing? Have you called and listened to their automated menu? Well, you go through this extensive menu and enter your phone number, and your password, and your billing security code just to have the person that eventually TALKS to you, ask you the SAME GOD DAMN QUESTIONS.]
Let me transfer you… Let me check with the department that JUST TRANSFERRED YOU TO ME. #ATT
[Yes, I called the number for Premier Online Support with the ticket number that they themselves gave me the day before and she tells me that a ticket number does nothing. SWEET. So she transfers me to Premier Customer Care because that’s whom I need to talk to (what a dumb shit I am). Premier Customer Care says, “You need to talk to Premier Online Support.” OF COURSE I DO.]
Wondering if @ATTCustomerCare is better than the phone support. IT COULDN’T BE ANY WORSE.
[Or could it?]
And so I’ve come full circle. #ATT
[Eventually they figure out what I want. A login. The login they give me does not work. So they assign me A NEW TICKET NUMBER. Holy Fucking Hell. Oh but wait. She says, “Let me give you the direct number to call tomorrow.” (Now we’re getting somewhere!) IT’S THE SAME GOD DAMN NUMBER that I originally called.]
Going to my happy place. Going to my happy place. Going to…
[fucking kill someone.]
@ATTSusan Thank you for the offer but I’m going to live stress-free for at least 24 hours before my next attempt at resolution. 140 not eno
[Nice of her to ask if I needed help, I guess.]
Preparing myself for round 3 with AT&T #dread #ATT
[Because I have waited 24 hours for the email to arrive with a new login.]
FAIL: AT&T Premier E Store and Premier Support Center are 2 completely different departments but have the same phone number. Fuck you #ATT
[I call the “direct number” and after navigating through their extensive phone menu, this, THIS is what they tell me. Basically, I chose the wrong options. I’M SUCH A DUMB CUNT.]
I’m on hold with AT&T “customer service.” I need an alcoholic beverage or a valium. #ATT
[No, really. After holding for 20 minutes, I need something.]
AT&T told me to call back in an additional 24 hours. FOR A FUCKING LOGIN. #ATT
[The system that assigns logins is broken. No human can assign a login to me. The computers now take over the world.]
@ATTSusan All I need is a TCM login for the “Premier Online Care” site! Something that I requested MONTHS ago.
[Something that should’ve been done when the account was first set up because that’s what I was told would happen. Then they tell me that there can only be ONE LOGIN. One login to rule them all. Then someone else finds out they can get a login but I have to set it up. Of course they can, because AT&T told me they could NOT. It really just depends on who you talk to at AT&T, doesn’t it? BTW, TCM is an acronym for “Telecommunications Manager.” How do I know this? Because when the agent started spewing acronyms at me, I told her, “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” I love it when companies toss around internal acronyms and then assumes everyone else is supposed to know what the fuck they stand for.]
Dear AT&T, SUCK IT! #ATT
[AT&T has been a nightmare to deal with since DAY ONE.]
Dear AT&T, Keep fucking that chicken! #ATT
[That’s a reference to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yc1Wzk2Tsxg]
I am fully expecting this to end well as I am dealing with such an upstanding and reputable company. Right?
You may view my twitter stream here: http://twitter.com/geekdarling
